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Huge amount of trouble and problems with this

The world - especially during work and relationships of all kinds - because of a strange phenomenon in our minds: the tendency and tendency to be, so that we explain it in a better way, not to communicate with feelings

When we first get to know this idea, it seems strange, and even a little humiliating. How do we not know what we feel?

Of course, we look at an outside view of things like beings

Standard: We have one name and we sit in a tightly closed physical / physical container. The distances between different parts of us are not that great. So how can we be in a state of diversity and diversity, as if we carry many secrets from ourselves? But in reality, there are (at least) two distinct parts of the mental aspect: feeling self and self-monitoring. Sometimes, the two seem to perfectly align with each other

Anyone can ask us

We feel it like eating and the connection between the aspects of the soul clearly and directly, so that we do not notice the time difference; we will simply answer, salmon and avocado.

On another point, it looks more complicated. As if sitting on the sofa at home after the trouble of a long day at work, so that everyone who sees us calmly gives an impression. But suddenly, a simple note from our partner seems to provoke deep anger inside us. We find we stand and start screaming about injustice for a number of accumulated things that we did not realize until this moment, we realized that we felt the strength to get out inside us - and soon we feel that we have ignited a crisis between our hands

Why is it so difficult for a self-monitor to accurately report emotions? First, because we are influenced by many thoughts and backgrounds in our life about our lack of acceptance of certain feelings. In order to know ourselves well, we rely on the level of self-awareness, courage and honesty that surrounds our culture. We are surrounded by what society offers us as an acceptable and accustomed species

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We have instilled in this mind since childhood, so we have not noticed these strong concepts about what is permitted and which cannot be tried.

Traditionally, this may have meant that boys were not allowed to confess their desire to cry or that girls were not allowed to entertain certain types of desirable aspirations for fear that they would be like young men and that they would not be in the future as a mature woman. We may not have had such explicitly naive taboos today but other strong attempts at equality have replaced them

Perhaps we have chosen secret but strong indications that no respectable person (not being loved by his parents at least) can be enthusiastic about earning money or unable to transact at work or be attracted to an affair or still annoyed at An example is from a broken relationship three years ago.

Moreover, despite the sexually liberated spirit of contemporary times, the lion's share of our sexual impulses is still not possible. There are still many feelings that are not intended to be felt to accommodate the most popular groups: "good boy" or "good girl".

Where difficult feelings threaten to emerge, it usually takes a horrific self-control. Instead of providing an explicit account of feelings, you can numb these feelings or try to present an acceptable report more than is true: “I feel very tired”, rather than “I feel you have let me down”; “I am depressed,” instead of “I am angry”; This is completely disgusting "instead of" I turned strangely ".

The problems are exacerbated if our feelings are strong - especially feelings of malaise or envy and frustration that can translate into actions - as it appears to be trivial and insignificant and not meaningful in our external world. It can be difficult to admit to ourselves that something huge and effective has unleashed our inner lives when there appears to be no prestigious and established external cause to refer to. For example, we might be put up with the paradoxes of envy and have no way of being recognized when a friend mentions that one of his acquaintances has been promoted. Or the partner might remove his gaze from us for three and a half seconds before we finish explaining that we had a difficult meeting at work, which suffers from extreme discontent and wounding pride that we did not receive the full attention of our beloved

 

We say nothing because having so many annoyances involves admitting a humiliating degree of weakness. However, the unreported feelings could not disappear. They are spreading their energy randomly on issues and related matters. Envy appears as a kind of cuff. Anger appears as a note, and its sign is that the partner, for example, looks fat at the present time - although the time when the harm appears has been aggressively manifested, any chances are that it is over.

Feelings did not get. So they force themselves into trouble, anger, and depression. They do the effort and pressure of the system, so that we develop and create harmful effects, muscle spasms of the face, impotence, ineligibility to work, alcoholism, and pornography compulsion. Most of them are called addiction so they are symptoms of difficult feelings that we did not find a way to deal with.

. So how can we become better observers and reporters of our feelings? Reading may have a big role to play. In order to know how to discover feelings that circulate through the realm of consciousness and perception, we rely on having good, rich internal evidence with insights into possible phenomena. One of the main tasks of literature is to help us fill in this internal guide. The great novelist can walk us through a set of deceptive and elusive feelings in his or her fictional characters, which makes it easier to recognize or acknowledge them in ourselves. The writer, ideally, is an unusually impatient person about strange and less discussed things, which seem to float and spread in the human head. Important literary work is similar to the new entry in the dictionary of human feelings. That great book can give us a strange and beautiful feeling of knowing us better than we have known to this day.

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Another step is to check

We have devoted a lot of time to self-monitoring. It may seem a bit of a self-indulgence by ordering a few hours in the evening, as there is nothing more demanding to do other than sit and stare through the window or in the bedroom, with a pillow and a pen on the person's lap. The alleged idle moments are when the observing soul is finally able to catch up with feelings that may be too shy or feel shame or that will soon appear for the rest of the day. They look like church bells that we can only do in the evening, when city traffic is reduced sharply. The failure to do so is - among other problems - damaging our chances of sleeping. Insomnia is a feeling of self-revenge for all thoughts that were not properly indexed in the day.

It can also help us to surround

Ourselves are people who will help us in our research to correctly identify and index our feelings. They are what we call good listeners. Part of knowing what we feel is having an audience that can accept our reality. In the company of open people, we distribute our feelings more freely in our minds. Remember the thoughts that were boring and reprehensible because others have become clogged. So we became more accepting of ourselves

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Understand the risk of a gap opening between what

Feeling it and what we realize brings another great benefit. We begin to see others feel annoyed by the same problem that we are beginning to realize that we have to deal with. Mostly they will say things that are not actually consistent with their true feelings - such as abhorrent things when they are in a moment of weakness perhaps, or things arrogant when they feel underestimated - and we will know that it is good to forgive them for not always managing to be trustworthy correspondents for their inner lives. It is not really evil to think this way about others, it is a nice step that gives us the energy to take a second, more sympathetic look at behavior that may at first seemed a bad and disgusting thing.

Emotions are usually far from wonderful and often not to be followed. But we must accept that if we ignore it, neglect it or completely deny it, the consequences (price) will always be higher and worse: they will exert a vicious and powerful influence throughout our entire life.

Also one of the neglected things that is overlooked in

Often times, but one of the most important keys to the arts of living is to learn to devote ourselves to describing our own feelings and restoring our feelings and those of others orphaned