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Why are they gone ?!

They are gone and the matter is over, and the question we want to understand remains

  Is for what?

It is striking that despite what well-intentioned friends and acquaintances tell us what we already know, which is, we are the reason.

 Of course, we firmly assume that the interpretation in the first place has something to do with us besides our miserable and miserable failures.

They worried about leaving because we weren't good enough, it is worth they knew our character more than anyone else, then they inevitably felt panic over our reality; it is not the relationship that failed, we failed.

But it seems clear to us that reality is different from what we realized in the depths of our hearts as being real.

There is a famous experience applied in the history of psychology, that sheds light on the tendency or tendency towards the goal or plan, and it is a definite reading of the clear explanations that were depicted and drawn from our minds to what we see in reality from vague and ambiguous situations in our world.

In the early 1930s, the American psychologist developed the theory of personality (psychology, cognition and coherence), through a subject awareness test, a test intended to evaluate patterns of thinking and attitudes, ability to observe, and emotional response, to test confused materials, by presenting examination materials The patient, which is a set of mysterious cards that depict human figures in various environments and situations, where the patient is required to express what he sees in each image, including the following elements:

The event that appears in the picture, what are its expectations about the thinking and feeling of the two people in the photo, and the results of this event.

 People tend to reach several specific assumptions and conclusions, for example;

I got bored of him, he is weak personality and boring some thing, so I told him that the relationship could not be successful, so I decided to leave.

- He told her that he must end the relationship because it is related to the sexual relationship between them, his promise was not fulfilled as it should be.

- It seems that the matter is related to the parents, because she wants to keep a distance between him and his parents, if he does not fulfill what I asked of them, then he is not expected to stay forever.

The strength of the experience lies in the fact that the designed images are not specific and clear and have no significance, but are ambiguous. They are representatives (actors), and they are asked to visualize certain forms.

The stories and their meanings come from us

This thing often happens to us precisely because we find it in its heart and heartache, and perhaps we will never know what are the precise and clear reasons that led to the departure of the partner.

It is not considered a sudden event for us, though we know that when we get to know a person, it will not be completely explicit with us at first, what we are told may be part of what their minds and their motives inherent in their depths are blocked and obscured, perhaps for them as well, we We present and present the truth, which is that they are gone, and through this thing we are studying and interpreting the meaning.

Our interpretation of the meaning actually comes in large part of us.

Adhering to the idea that we do not know the fact that something is not being learned from it or not being used.

One of the most fundamental moments in philosophy, in Greek civilization, the philosopher Socrates argued that the great competition for wisdom falls under the extent of our perceived ability to accept ignore in certain situations; (the wise people who know they do not know). This acknowledgment of lack of knowledge, and a reminder of the extent of the ability to plan can greatly help in facilitating things away from any misfortunes and accusing ourselves of translating what happened that we caused to end the relationship.

It is possible that the beloved who told us in all his cruelty that he never wants to see us, in the secret of his soul thinks: I am very sad that the relationship did not work, I hope to find a way to make the relationship succeed, you are a wonderful companion in all cases, but there is something desperate in me that makes me move away and I cannot Exchanging the offer of love from you, the person who responds to us with text messages very coldly (It is the end, I will leave). Perhaps behind the scenes, we see him mourning his loss and failure (as we imagine and imagine), rather than thinking that he is celebrating with joy at the end of the relationship.

The person who says: I hope the relationship works, but now I cannot focus on my professional future, may be considered more sincere (as we imagine the situation with sadness), rather than putting a cover or respectable veil not to belittle us.

Accepting ambiguity is the thing that liberates us, meaning that the end of the relationship cannot necessarily be our fault entirely, there may be strengths and failures at work, for example, and not only the issue of disqualification. We remain in grief, but the goal of misery can be tolerated. We can focus on the depth of the pain, sadness and sadness of this love and loss more than focus on our suffering and face the long criticism of ineligibility and inefficiency